Emotions can feel like waves—one moment, we’re coasting on joy and excitement, and the next, we’re pulled under by sadness, loneliness, or a sense of loss. It’s easy to get stuck in the low moments, feeling like they’re proof that something is missing. But what if, instead, they were reminders of what we already know?
What if the very fact that we feel deep sadness means we have known deep love? That loneliness means we have experienced deep connection? That if we are longing for something, it must exist within us in some form?
These moments of contrast can be invitations—not just to sit with what we’re feeling, but to shift our focus. To see gratitude where we might have seen lack. To create more of what we desire instead of fixating on what feels absent.
A Different Way to Look at Our Emotions
Instead of seeing our low emotions as proof of what’s missing, we could choose to see them as reminders of what is possible. Because if we have felt joy, love, and connection before, then we know how to experience them again.
And if we know how to experience them, then we also have the power to cultivate them.
Gratitude is a powerful tool here—not as a way to ignore difficult feelings, but as a way to widen the lens. When we focus on what we miss, we tend to notice more moments that reinforce that sense of absence. But when we choose to honor and celebrate what once was, we create space for those feelings to return in a new way.
Instead of Noticing What’s Missing, Look for Where It Still Exists
If you’re missing a person, a phase of life, or even a version of yourself, instead of seeing all the places where it’s not—try looking for where it still is.
- Instead of noticing that someone isn’t here, can you see their influence in the moments around you? A song, a habit they passed on, a familiar kindness that reminds you of them?
- Instead of longing for a feeling that seems far away, can you create a small moment that brings it back? A walk outside, a conversation with a friend, an act of self-care?
- Instead of feeling stuck in sadness, can you ask yourself: Where else in my life do I feel connection, joy, or love?
The truth is, we are all connected to the energy of the universe at once. Nothing is ever truly lost—it just shifts forms.
How to Shift Your Focus to Gratitude
If you find yourself caught in the low moments, here are three ways to begin shifting into gratitude:
1. Reframe the Feeling as a Reminder
When sadness, loneliness, or grief shows up, acknowledge it—but also ask: What is this reminding me of? Instead of seeing it as proof of what’s missing, see it as evidence that you know how to feel deeply, love deeply, and connect deeply.
2. Find One Small Way to Celebrate What You Miss
If you miss someone, honor them. If you miss a version of yourself, reconnect with a part of what made that time special. Bring their presence, their wisdom, or their energy into your present moment, rather than just noticing their absence.
3. Create More of What You Desire
If you’re feeling disconnected, what’s one small thing you can do today to invite connection? If you’re feeling joyless, what’s one small thing that might bring a spark? When we start looking for ways to create the feelings we long for, they start appearing in new ways.
You Are Always Connected
The highs and lows of life are not separate—they are part of the same cycle. And when we stop seeing the lows as losses and start seeing them as reminders, we reclaim our ability to shift back into gratitude, love, and connection.
It’s not about forcing yourself to feel good. It’s about recognizing that if you can feel this deeply, you do have access to all of it—the joy, the love, the connection. It’s all still there, waiting for you to find it again.
And the more you look for it, the more you’ll see it.
2 Responses
I’ve never received a more timely message. Thank you for the reminder xoxoxo
I love how the messages show up when we need them✨ Sending you love.
xoxo
Rh